I'm not a big fan of the kiddie tunes. Pattycakes holds no thrills for me and I don't give a damn what the wheels on the bus are doing. M and I prefer to rock out to Jack FM with a few lyric swaps for good measure. For instance, Wintersleep's "Weighty Ghost" becomes "weighty toast" at breakfast time. This has the additional advantage of somewhat downplaying my horrid horrid singing voice.
So when Auntie Mare announced recently during one of our walks that she had learned a new tune called "A is for Apple" my enthusiasm did not know no bounds. Besides falling short of the Jack FM criteria, Makeda strikes me so far as a pretty big smartiepants, and songs about fruit or letters of the alphabet did not seem a sufficient nod to her intelligence. It was a long walk and there were three of us, so we put our heads together to come up with something that would please everyone. Before long we had a lively new tune called the "Cuss Song" and A now stands for A**hole. I'll leave the rest of the alphabet to your respective imaginations, but rest assured, we covered it all. 'nuf said.
So when Auntie Mare announced recently during one of our walks that she had learned a new tune called "A is for Apple" my enthusiasm did not know no bounds. Besides falling short of the Jack FM criteria, Makeda strikes me so far as a pretty big smartiepants, and songs about fruit or letters of the alphabet did not seem a sufficient nod to her intelligence. It was a long walk and there were three of us, so we put our heads together to come up with something that would please everyone. Before long we had a lively new tune called the "Cuss Song" and A now stands for A**hole. I'll leave the rest of the alphabet to your respective imaginations, but rest assured, we covered it all. 'nuf said.
6 comments:
You are an evil woman and a bad mother. Obviously Auntie Mare is no better influence for the child. I will be arriving just in time to whisk your daughter away from the madness of your household. Posthaste.
HEY! I was trying to bring some wholesome goodness into this woman's world. Quick, Barb, we need to come up with plan B before Haze gets into town. Perhaps we could change it to "A is for Affidavit" blah blah blah....snore snore snore...nah, let's just bring Haze over to the dark side. Love auntie mare.
oh goody, i've just been email-spanked by my mother and now i have to avoid the long reach of haze's backhand over the weekend everytime i break into song...
oooh... i wanna contribute!! can i have the letters 'b', 'f' and 's' please?
No you cannot! Those are way too easy. You can have x,y and z (esp. since those are also common variables and therefore much more relevant to your blog topic). And remember:
"C is for the word we never say, the word we never say, the word we never say..."
My 7 year old nephew informed me over the weekend that I would have to learn "mommy swears" now. Like if I stub my toe, I should say "shnikees" or "mother snickers." Sweet.
I'm so jealous you and Haze get to hang around together. Hope you have so much fun!
You and Makeda are looking fabulous as ever, and your whole family is beautiful. Gramps and the brewski crack me up. Hope you get to do some more riding soon. Sounds like its good for you.
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