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So when Auntie Mare announced recently during one of our walks that she had learned a new tune called "A is for Apple" my enthusiasm did not know no bounds. Besides falling short of the Jack FM criteria, Makeda strikes me so far as a pretty big smartiepants, and songs about fruit or letters of the alphabet did not seem a sufficient nod to her intelligence. It was a long walk and there were three of us, so we put our heads together to come up with something that would please everyone. Before long we had a lively new tune called the "Cuss Song" and A now stands for A**hole. I'll leave the rest of the alphabet to your respective imaginations, but rest assured, we covered it all. 'nuf said.