The other week, when my homestudy SW ran out of questions to ask me regarding my views on parenting (said views being abundantly clear, apparently, based upon the pets and small children running amok through the living room as we conducted my interview), we digressed to the more interesting (and important) issue of How to Meet Men in Vancouver. I'd actually given up on this some time ago, but being more recently single herself, she clearly had more energy and ideas than I did, and was only too happy to share. I'd been there, done that, on most of her ideas, but found one of them rather intriguing - an agency by the name of "Hearts" - a highly customized dating service which operates in various city centres across Canada. Now, I'd considered this some years ago, but on the advice of a good friend - "Barb, really, what real man is going to hire an agency called "Hearts"" - I set off down numerous different paths instead. Until now. See, like me, my SW is cheap. And Hearts is not cheap. But, Hearts IS in the business of finding soulmates for its paying clients. And to do that, they need volume. And for volume, they need to go to the masses. Which is where I come in. I can go onto the Hearts website and email my specs in the hopes that they find me palatable enough to set up with one of their paying clients. Free for me and I'd meet a bunch of the men I'd meet anyway if I paid them for the match. Genius? I think so too. I sent my email. Even included a couple of pics. And?Silence. Great. Now I don't just get ignored by actual men, I get ignored by the agencies who represent them in general. Mass rejection. I love it.
Finally, today, I receive from Hearts....
a print advertisement. Heavily personalized by inserting "Barbara" after "Dear" in a completely different font from the rest of the form letter which proceeds to tout their general matchmaking service. I tell you, nothing says "You Are Good Enough for Our Clients" like a font mongrel form letter. Oh well, back to the drawing board...
a print advertisement. Heavily personalized by inserting "Barbara" after "Dear" in a completely different font from the rest of the form letter which proceeds to tout their general matchmaking service. I tell you, nothing says "You Are Good Enough for Our Clients" like a font mongrel form letter. Oh well, back to the drawing board...
10 comments:
Brutal -- but hilarious pic to go with this post. It has become easier with the internet and lack of face to face contact to reject someone in completely thoughtless and tacky ways. Almost makes a girl want to take an oath of celebacy (ALMOST!). I hear you. I doesn't help to know that you are in good company, but you are. On an aside, you know what ticks me off? How some women have no problem, where other educated, reasonably attractive, awesome women stay single. I mean, what's the deal?
LOL. I'm determined to find a man before Baby I comes home. I'm telling all of my friends and yes still on the dating sites. I've met some really good guys, just guys that are not for me. I'm tired of this dating but what is the alternative...being single and that has definitely proven to be unappealing. I say we keep trying. Hey it only takes one good one right? sighhhhhh.
oy. I feel you on this one.
Are you on Facebook? I'm telling you, it's the key.
Whaddy mean am i on facebook you loser? You're one of my facebook friends! Great, now I'm a loser even to the women.
DOH!
THAT is f'king hysterical. I even know that you are my friend on FB. Just chalk it up to my half-assed loser sleep-deprived mental lameness, please.
And also, perhaps it's a tiny bit due to the fact that you NEVER POST JACK on Facebook, so it's kind of like you aren't there. And I mean that in a loving and supportive way.
I'm NOT on FB.
Barbara - thanks for letting us know how Hearts worked out - now I know not to bother and can save my self the embarrassement. Thanks for taking one for the team.
Tami - not on FB? I thought you were cooler than that. But then I don't post on FB much either.
Habesha is about to realize I'm always on FB - just not in the way she thought. Can we say "someone's about to get spanked big time on word twist"? Not that I'm proud of my addiction...but at least i have one talent.
Have you tried eHarmony? The commercials on TV made it look so exciting and promising I almost signed up right then and there. But then I realized that my husband might not think that was cool.
And I've told you before to hang around Children's Hospital more often. The pediatric cardiologist (Andrew Campbell was his name, if memory serves 2 years later) that took care of your nephew that time was absolutely dreamy. I bet you'll find him on eHarmony....
You never fail to make me chuckle, you crack me up.
Good luck, but I'm surprised you do not have a plethora of high-standard men knocking down your door.
Cindy
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